Separation is one of the most challenging periods a family can face. Our goal is to help you move past conflict and establish reliable, child-centred arrangements without the stress and cost of lengthy court battles. Mediation offers a safe, structured space to build the cooperative parenting relationship your children need to thrive.
The Severe Effects of Parental Conflict on Children
The single most damaging factor for children post-separation is high, sustained parental conflict. Children’s Reactions to Parental Separation often include anxiety, behavioural issues, and academic decline. The most important thing children need from separated parents is a sense of security and freedom from having to choose sides. Mediation teaches Tips for Better Communication and Tips for Successful Co-Parenting to shield your child from these harmful effects.
The Child’s Voice in Family Proceedings
The court prioritises the child’s welfare, and so do we. In mediation, we explore how to involve The Child’s Voice safely and constructively. While children are rarely required to testify in Family Court, the court (and mediation) heavily rely on evidence of their wishes and feelings, often gathered impartially by CAFCASS or a specially trained child consultant.
Child Arrangements determine how the family court determines where a child lives and overnight contact with parents takes place. Mediation is perfect for resolving specific scheduling issues:
Shared Parenting and Contact
50/50 Shared Parenting Arrangements in Family Court: While often ideal in theory, the court is focused on practicality. A true 50/50 split requires both parents to live close together and communicate effectively. We help you work out if this is feasible and how to structure it.
“Primary Parent”: The term is discouraged by the court, which prefers focusing on the time spent by each parent. What is a “Primary Parent” in the Family Court? is usually only determined when there is a significant geographical distance or conflict.
Special Occasions and School Holidays: Mediation provides the perfect forum for creating detailed calendars, preemptively dealing with School Holidays and Special Occasions (birthdays, holidays) now, preventing future arguments.
Dealing with Disputes over Key Decisions – The Family Court’s approach is to rule in the child’s best interest. Mediation allows you to decide what is best. We help resolve common disputes:
Educational Disputes: The Family Court’s Approach to Educational Disputes usually involves a Specific Issue Order (SIO) where a Judge decides the school.
Religious Upbringing: The Family Court’s Approach to Religious Upbringing is highly sensitive, favouring the status quo unless the practice causes harm.
Child Name Changes: Changing a Child’s Surname requires the consent of everyone with Parental Responsibility (PR), or a Specific Issue Order (SIO) from the court
You only need to apply to the Family Court for Child Arrangements via the Family Court if mediation is unsuccessful, or if there is immediate risk.
Court Orders and Terminology
When Applying to the Family Court for Child Arrangements, you are usually asking for a Child Arrangements Order.
Specific Issue Orders (SIO): These resolve a single, defined issue (e.g., medical treatment, taking a child on holiday, or How Family Courts Deal with Travel Plans).
Prohibited Steps Orders (PSO): These are short-term emergency orders that prevent a parent from taking a specific action (e.g., stopping a child from being moved out of the area or being taken out of school).
Special Guardianship Orders (SGO): This is a serious order giving a Special Guardian paramount parental responsibility, often used when neither birth parent can provide safe care. We can advise on What sort of contact and provisions are given to Parents under SGO and How do you revoke an SGO (a very difficult process).
Parental Responsibility (PR)
How to Get Parental Responsibility (PR): Mothers automatically have PR. Fathers gain it if they were married to the mother or were named on the birth certificate after December 2003. Unmarried fathers can gain it via PR Agreement or court order.
· Losing PR: When a Parent Might Lose Parental Responsibility (PR) in the Family Court is exceptionally rare and usually requires the parent to pose a direct and severe risk of harm to the child.
What to do if contact with a child has stopped? : This requires immediate, non-confrontational action. Mediation is the fastest first step before Navigating the Family Court for Child Arrangements.
Recognising Parental Alienating Behaviours: The court takes this seriously, viewing it as emotional abuse. Mediation offers strategies for rebuilding the relationship without the court’s heavy intervention.
Parenting with Narcissistic Personality Types: Mediation provides structured communication methods to manage difficult personalities safely and effectively.
If you apply to court, The Role of CAFCASS in Family Court is to investigate the welfare of the child. They produce a report (What sort of reports to CAFCASS do for court?) that heavily influences the Judge’s decision..
Parent Comparison: Family Court vs. Family Mediation clearly shows that mediation provides a cheaper, faster, and more sustainable way to secure your child’s future. Applying for a Consent Order for Child Arrangements through mediation turns your agreement into a legally binding court order, providing the certainty of court without the conflict. Call National Family Mediation on 03300 101 367.
What is Mediation? Mediation is a voluntary way of discussing and resolving the issues that divide couples who have separated prior to divorce in an attempt to bring about a resolution that is acceptable to both parties.
It must be stressed that it is NOT a process that is in place to attempt to keep couples together. Mediation allows the parties involved to reach their own solution regarding family law and issues such as those concerning their children, property or debts.
What is the Purpose of Mediation If you intend to go to court it is always advisable to work with your solicitor, with any matters on family law, however the mediation process was introduced as an informal, less costly way for separating and divorcing couples to reach an acceptable agreement without the need to go to court.
Mediation is often a less stressful option that does not have the formal atmosphere of the court that many couples find intimidating. Family Mediation is also usually less time consuming. It is also more effective than going to court for family law because it allows couples to reach their own agreement without the need of a judgement. However, your solicitor can be present to help you and provide legal advice if required.
How long Does Mediation take? The initial family mediation meeting is very short and should take no longer than 20-30 minutes and once mediation has been agreed, the process can be completed within a day but obviously this depends on the complexities of the dispute.
Is Mediation compulsory? Although going through the mediation process is not a requirement, since April 2011 the Ministry of Justice has ruled it must be considered by all parties contemplating separation or divorce before proceeding to court. Family Law is a large part of cases hitting court.
All parties now must attend at least one Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) before legal proceedings can be commenced. If no agreement to mediate can be established, the parties must obtain a form FM1 from the mediator who conducted the MIAM that has to be signed to confirm that mediation is not a feasible option in their case. Helping ease the way into family law matters
Do I have to be in the same room as my ex-partner during mediation? No – generally the meeting is between you and a member of our family mediation team to assess areas of family law unless you and your partner wish to participate in the meeting jointly.
Do I have to have my solicitor present for mediation? No. This is entirely your choice and the majority of couples find they are quite comfortable going through the mediation process without any family law legal representation. However, we suggest that you discuss mediation with your solicitor before agreeing to the process. Both parties also need to agree to mediation for the process to continue.
If an agreement is reached is it legally binding? No – but your mediator is obliged to prepare a summary of any resolution that has been reached for you and your partner’s respective solicitors. This can, if appropriate, be incorporated into a court order or other legal binding agreement.
Can I still take part in Mediation if I have moved away? No, we can arrange family mediation sessions through a video or Skype conference link, saving your travel costs and also time.
Looking to resolve Family Issues? NFMS [Name] frequently asked mediation questions are below.
What is a MIAMS and why do I need one? A MIAM is a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, a required step before starting certain family court proceedings. It provides information about mediation and assesses whether mediation is suitable for your situation before pursuing legal action.
Is attending a MIAM mandatory and when is it required? Yes, attending a MIAM is often mandatory before taking certain family disputes to court, such as issues related to divorce or child custody. It is designed to encourage parties to consider mediation as an alternative to court proceedings.
What happens during a MIAM? In a MIAM, a trained mediator meets with each party separately to explain the mediation process, discuss the benefits of mediation, and assess whether mediation is suitable for the specific situation. It’s a chance to ask questions and understand the mediation process better.
How long does a MIAM take? The duration of a MIAM varies but typically lasts around 45 minutes to an hour for each party.
Can I have a family or friend present for a MIAM? While you generally attend a MIAM alone, some mediators may allow you to bring a friend or family member for support. It’s essential to check with the mediator beforehand to understand their specific policies
What if the other party refused to attend a MIAM? If the other party refuses to attend a MIAM, the mediator will provide a form (FM1) that allows you to apply to the court for permission to proceed with legal action without attending a MIAM. The court will then decide whether mediation is still necessary or if you can move forward with your case.
National Family Mediation Service [Name]