Do's & Don'ts Of Child Custody Mediation

Exactly how do you make the best of a possibly negative situation?

Take the following into consideration:

IF YOU ARE THE MOVING PARTY, MAKE CERTAIN THAT YOUR FILES ARE COMPLETE. If you are the reacting party, make certain that your responsive papers have actually been filed and also offered prior to the arbitration.

BE SURE TO BE PROMPT. The mediator’s schedule is commonly loaded, and also if you show up more than a few minutes late, you will often go undetected.

DO direct all your comments to the mediator toward the child, as opposed to toward “me.” Bear in mind that this is not regarding your “adult legal rights.” It’s about the children, your connection with them, and your co-parenting capability.

Demand separate mediation if your relationship has domestic physical violence.

You are not needed to share a room with your abuser.

DO involved sessions with a custody plan as well as logical validations for its application.

DO refer to the kids as “ours.” This takes practise, as most of us refer to them as “my children” in discussion. The explanation is included below in the area DONT’S.

ENSURE THAT YOU OBTAIN A GOOD NIGHT’S REST BEFORE MEDITATING. Whilst this may be tough, you want to ensure that you look out and responsive to the mediator’s questions. Additionally, guarantee that you have actually consumed effectively so that you can concentrate on the mediation process instead of exactly how vacant your tummy is.


You are not called for to be friends with the mediator, however you additionally do not intend to get on his or her bad side.

Get support from your solicitor in preparing for sessions. The hour or two of preparation time is well worth it.

Avoid being obnoxious, argumentative, or hindering the various other parent. These strategies regularly backfire, leading the mediator to believe you are the concern.

DO NOT point fingers or take part in a blame game with the other parent. While there are times when it is necessary to mention that the various other parent has a chemical abuse trouble or is a danger to the children, think about framing the conversation in child-centred terms. For instance, “Jane is a great mother, yet I believe she occasionally permits her wish for alcohol to surpass her children’s needs,” in contrast to “Jane is a drunk.” Make use of “I” declarations.

DO NOT stoop, loom, or fix your gaze on either the mediator or the various other parent. While intimidation tactics might work in a conference room or throughout a sporting event, they do not work during custodianship mediation.


Throughout the mediation procedure without consulting your solicitor, if you have one. Once you sign on the dotted line, it becomes harder for your legal representative to argue against the suggestion if 1) you change your mind or 2) you fail to remember to include a necessary arrangement.

DO NOT express a passion in 50/50 timeshares or any other percent of timeshares. This signals to the mediator that you are just interested in reducing/increasing child assistance, as part of the calculation of kid assistance is the quantity of time each parent spends with the children.


Ever before. The mediator and court are not concerned with you or the other parent; they are concerned with your children.

DESCRIBE THE CHILDREN AS “MY” CHILDREN, NOT “MY” CHILDREN. One more warning for the conciliator– somebody that seems possessive of the children will certainly not be discovered to be the mums and dad who cultivates a connection in between the children as well as the various other mums and dad, which is one of the statutory factors the Court have to think about when identifying guardianship.

DON’T IMPERSONATES IF YOU’RE GOING TO WASH YOUR AUTOMOBILE OR GOING OUT WITH THE WOMEN. Although looks can be tricking– underneath the oversized Tee shirts and also low-slung denims might exist the heart of a fantastic moms and dad– a mediator and/or judge will have trouble seeing past the photo you predict. Wear service informal attire, obtain a haircut, and also hide any type of tattoos. In addition, please avoid putting on flip-flops!

This is by no suggests an exhaustive list. Bear in mind that the mediator is, most importantly, keeping an eye out for the youngsters’s benefits. By presenting the best version of yourself, you can aid the moderator in achieving that goal.

Child Custody Mediation