National Family Mediation have pulled together this collection of information which we hope will answer any question you may have on the process, of child arrangement, Financial Separation and Civil Mediation.

We understand that sometimes you prefer to talk, no problem give the team a call on….

Tel 0330 133 4869.

Navigating Child Arrangements & Family Court

Separation is a major transition for any family. Our Knowledge Centre is designed to provide clear, legal, and practical guidance on how the Family Court operates and, more importantly, how to prioritize your children’s well-being throughout the process.

1. The Legal Framework: Orders & Applications

Below are some examples of the specific orders the Court uses to resolve disputes and what they are used for.

Child Arrangements Orders (CAO):

Used to determine how and where a child lives and how they spend time with each parent, how to share school holiday’s and special occasions. This is the the Legal version of a parenting plan.

Specific Issue Orders (SIO):

These orders are used to resolve a single point of disagreement, such as which school a child should attend or whether they should receive a specific medical treatment.

Prohibited Steps Orders (PSO):

This is a preventative order that is used to stop a parent from taking a specific action (e.g., moving the child abroad or out of their current school).

Special Guardianship Orders (SGO):

This order is used to provide a child with a long-term, stable home when they cannot live with their parents.

Contact under SGO:

What provisions are typically given to birth parents.

Revoking an SGO:

The high legal threshold required to overturn a guardianship order.

Consent Orders for Children:

These orders are used to make an informal agreement such as a parenting plan into a legally binding agreement to prevent future conflict.

2. Parental Responsibility

In the UK, Parental Responsibility (PR) refers to the legal rights, duties, and powers a parent has in relation to their child and their property. It shifts the focus from “parental rights” to the legal duty to protect and maintain the child.

Key Decisions (The “Big Stuff”)

While day-to-day care such as (meals, and bedtime)routines) is handled by the parent the child is with, anyone with PR must be consulted on:

Education: Choosing or changing schools.

Health: Consenting to major medical treatment.

Religion: Determining the child’s religious upbringing.

Travel: Taking the child abroad or changing their surname.

Who has PR automatically?

Mothers: Always have PR from birth.

Fathers: Father don’t have automatic PR, They have PR if they were married to the mother at the time of birth or are named on the birth certificate .

Second Female Parents: Have PR if they are in a civil partnership or married at the time of birth.

How to get PR

If you don’t have it automatically, you can obtain it through a Parental Responsibility Agreement (signed by both parents), by marrying the mother, or via a Court Order.

Step-parents do not automatically have Parental Responsibility, but they can obtain it by signing a formal Parental Responsibility Agreement with all current PR holders or by applying for a Court Order.

Can a parent lose Parental Responsiblilty?

Losing Parental Responsibility: It is extremely rare for the Court to revoke PR once it has been granted.

3. What the court considers when make arrangement for children

When determining arrangements for children, the court’s “paramount consideration” is the child’s welfare. Under the Children Act 1989, judges use the Welfare Checklist to make their decision.

To View the guidance “What courts expect of parents” click here.

This includes assessing the child’s physical, emotional, and educational needs, the likely effect of any change in circumstances, and any harm the child has suffered or is at risk of suffering.

Crucially, the court also considers the welfare and wishes of the child, viewed in light of their age and understanding, as well as the capability of each parent to meet those needs. The goal is to ensure a stable environment that fosters the child’s development, rather than focusing on the “rights” or “fairness” to the parents.

Apportioning Recreation, Holidays, and Special Occasions

The Courts aim is to create a schedule that allows the child to maintain a meaningful relationship with both parents while minimizing disruption. Here is how they typically divide specific blocks of time:

School Holidays:

These are often split equally, though not necessarily as a single block. A common approach is to alternate weeks during the summer or divide the one-week half-terms so each parent gets a portion of the recreational time.

Christmas and New Year:

Most orders rotate these annually. For example, the child may spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with Parent A in even years, and Parent B in odd years, reversing the arrangement for Boxing Day or New Year’s.

Birthdays:

The court prioritizes the child’s birthday, often allowing the “non-resident” parent a few hours of contact if it falls on a school day, or alternating who has the child for the actual birthday date each year. Parent birthdays are usually spent with that specific parent.

Mother’s/Father’s Day:

These are almost always spent with the respective parent, regardless of whose “turn” it would usually be

Indirect Contact: For long holidays where the child is away, the court will often stipulate “indirect contact,” such as scheduled FaceTime or Skype calls, to try to ensure the bond remains strong during the gap in physical care.

50/50 Shared Parenting arrangements

When considering a 50/50 shared care arrangement, the court starts with the legal presumption that the involvement of both parents in a child’s life will further their welfare, provided it is safe. However, there is no automatic “right” to equal time; instead, the court focuses on whether a 50/50 split is practically viable and in the child’s best interests.

Key factors include the geographic proximity of the two homes (to ensure schooling and friendships aren’t disrupted), the parents’ ability to communicate and cooperate effectively, and the child’s own wishes and feelings (depending on their age).

The court also examines the logistical stability of each home, looking for a “good enough” parenting standard where both parents can meet the child’s physical and emotional needs without high levels of conflict during frequent transitions.

Factor	Court Focus
Proximity	Can the child reach school and activities easily from both homes?
Co-operation	Can parents manage handovers and shared decisions without high conflict?
Stability	Will the “yo-yo” effect of frequent moves distress the child?
Work-Life Balance	Are both parents physically available to provide care during their designated time? Whilst it’s normal to call on wider family from time to time parents are generally considered as best placed to care for children for extensive periods of time.

Child Arrangements.

Below you will find are some further guides that you can view for additional information on how to navigate co-parenting and tips on how to reduce conflict.

Top Tips for Parents

The Family Justice Young Peoples Board part of CAFCASS have pulled together these handy tips written in the voice of the child. For more information on CAFCASS and FJYPB click here.

Our Child /Parenting Plan

Mediation can help you to write a plan for your children that can reflect your agreed times to parent, how to deal with school holidays and special occasions, routines and boundaries. Click here for more information.

Survival Guide for Parents

Advice now have written this handy guide for parents to help them to navigate difficult situations during separation. To view the guide click here.

Finances and Divorce: An Overview

Financial separation is the process of legally untying your financial life from your spouse. In the UK, getting a divorce does not automatically end your financial relationship. Without a formal court order, your ex-spouse could potentially make a claim against your assets, income, or even an inheritance many years after the divorce is finalized.

Family Mediation, Divorce, and Financial Settlement

Before asking a court to step in, most couples are required to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) to try to resolve matters.

The Goal: To reach a voluntary agreement on how to split assets without the stress and cost of a full court hearing.

The Outcome: If successful, your agreement can be drafted into a “Consent Order” and sent to a judge for approval, this will make your agreement legally binding.

Financial Orders in Divorce

There are several types of orders a court can make to settle finances:

Periodical Payments: Often called spousal maintenance.

Lump Sum Orders: Are one-off payment from one party to another.

Property Adjustment Orders: Transferring ownership of a home.

Pension Sharing Orders: Dividing pension pots.

Clean Break Orders: Severing all financial ties (see below).

Dividing Finances: The Court’s Approach

The court does not simply split everything 50/50. Under Section 25 of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973, the court’s primary goal is “fairness,” with the first priority being the welfare of any children. The court considers:

The financial needs and responsibilities of each party.

The age of the parties and the duration of the marriage.

Contributions made (these can be both financial and as a homemaker/parent).

Property and Pensions

Property: The court can order the sale of the family home, a transfer of the title deed , or what is known as a “Mesher Order” (where the sale can be deferred until a specific event, like the youngest child finishing school).

Pensions: These can often be the second-largest asset. The court can “share” a pension (by splitting it now), They can also “offset” it (this means one person keeps the pension, the other gets more of the house), or “earmark” it (by paying a portion to the ex-spouse later).

Child Maintenance: How it Works

Matters that involve Child maintenance is primarily handled by the Child Maintenance Service (CMS), not the courts.

Shared Care: If you share the care of your children exactly equally (50/50), then CMS generally has no jurisdiction to collect maintenance. In 2025, the landmark case OS v DT confirmed that in truly equal care cases, the court (rather than the CMS) regains the power to decide if any maintenance is needed.

Calculations: If care is not equal, the “paying parent” pays a percentage of their gross income, which is reduced based on the number of “overnight stays” the child has with them.

Unmarried Couples: TOLATA and Financial Settlements

Unmarried couples do not have the same rights as married couples, regardless of how long they have lived together.

What is TOLATA? The Trusts of Land and Appointment of Trustees Act 1996 is the law used to resolve property disputes between unmarried cohabitants. The court looks at legal ownership (the deeds) and “beneficial interest” (contributions made or promises kept).

With Children: Unmarried parents can also apply for a share of the property under Schedule 1 of the Children Act 1989 for financial provision (like housing or lump sumspayments) specifically to meet the needs of the child.

The “Clean Break” Order

A Clean Break Order is a specific type of financial order that prevents either person from making any further financial claims against the other in the future.

Can divorce be granted without one? Yes, you can get a “Final Order” (divorce) without a financial order, but this is risky. It leaves the “financial door” open for your ex-spouse to claim against your future wealth or pension.

Disclosure: Transparency in Divorce

Both parties must provide “full and frank disclosure” of their finances, usually using Form E.

Businesses: If you own a business, you must disclose profit and loss accounts, balance sheets, and potentially undergo a professional valuation.

New Partners: Your new partner does not usually need to disclose their full assets. However, if you are cohabiting, you must disclose that they contribute to household bills, as this affects your “financial need.”

Truthfulness: Courts can spot dishonesty through forensic accounting or by comparing lifestyle to declared income. If you are caught lying, the court can “draw adverse inferences,” order you to pay heavy legal costs, or even reopen the case later.

Capital Gains Tax (CGT) and Inheritance

Capital Gains Tax: As of 2026, couples have up to three tax years after the year of separation to transfer assets without triggering CGT. If the transfer is part of a formal court order, then there is no time limit.

Inheritance: Inheritances are often treated as “non-matrimonial” assets. However, if the inheritance was “intermingled” with family finances (e.g., used to pay off the mortgage) or if it is needed to meet the other spouse’s basic needs, the court could look to include it in the pot to be divided.

Case Study: The Balanced Split

The Scenario: Sarah and Mark have been married for 15 years with two children. Mark had a high-value pension; Sarah had stayed home to raise the kids. The Outcome: Through mediation, they agreed Sarah would keep the family home (offsetting her claim to the pension) to provide stability for the kids. Mark kept his pension intact. A Consent Order was filed to ensure a Clean Break, protecting Mark’s future business earnings and Sarah’s future inheritance.

These additional guides provides a clear overview of the legal and financial landscape for couples navigating separation and divorce.

Survival Guide to Finances on Divorce

This Guide provides a simple guide on the different way to deal with finances on divorce and a guide on the process. Click here for more information.

Survival Guide to Divorce

The divorce process can be incredibly difficult to navigate. This simple guide will make it easier and less daunting. Click her for more information.

Survival Guide to Pensions

Pensions can be an asset that is overlooked in separation and divorce, however they are often worth even more then property and therefore understanding your options is essential. Click here for more information.

Family Mediation: Process information

Mediation is not about “winning” or “losing”; it is about finding a functional way forward for your family. Below, we break down everything from the “Idiot’s Guide” to the high-stakes consequences of the Family Court.

1. The Essentials: A Beginner’s Guide

The “Idiot’s Guide” to Family Mediation: Mediation is a structured conversation led by a neutral third party. They don’t take sides or give legal advice; they help you and your ex-partner reach your own decisions.

Key Benefits: You retain control. In Court, a stranger (a Judge) decides your life. In mediation, you decide. It is faster, less stressful, and significantly cheaper than court.

Success Rates: Statistically, over 70% of couples who engage in mediation reach an agreement, avoiding the need for a final court hearing.

2. Costs, Funding & Legal Support

Mediation vs. Litigation & Arbitration: A cost comparison often shows mediation costing a fraction of traditional litigation, which can run into tens of thousands of pounds.

Legal Aid for Mediation: Unlike most family court matters, Legal Aid is still available for mediation if you meet the financial criteria.

The Government Voucher Scheme: You may be eligible for a £500 voucher toward mediation costs for disputes involving children.

When to Use a Solicitor: Even in mediation, “legal coaching” from a solicitor is invaluable. We explain when to bring in a professional and what to do if you cannot afford a solicitor (including Litigant in Person resources).

The Role of a McKenzie Friend: If you feel overwhelmed, a McKenzie Friend can provide moral support and take notes during proceedings, though their role differs in mediation vs. a courtroom.

3. When Mediation is NOT Suitable

Domestic Abuse & Safety: Mediation is voluntary and must be safe. If there is ongoing domestic abuse, mediation may be unsuitable. We detail how the Family Court and mediators prioritize safety.

Shuttle Mediation : Abuse does not mean you don’t have the option to mediate. We offer many services to clients who have experienced abuse to enable them to still participate. click her for more details

Urgent “Without Notice” Applications: If a child is at risk or being removed from the country, or is a risk of harm then mediation can be bypassed for an emergency court application.

Barriers & Solutions: From high-conflict personalities to “gatekeeping,” we look at common hurdles and how Shuttle Mediation (where you stay in separate rooms) can provide a solution.

4. Mediation vs. The Family Court

Feature	Family Mediation	Family Court
Timeline	Weeks	Months (sometimes 12-18 months)
Decision Maker	The Parents	The Judge
Atmosphere	Collaborative	Adversarial
Privacy	Private & Confidential	Semi-Private (Court record exists)

What the Court Thinks: Judges expect you to have attended a MIAM (Mediation Information & Assessment Meeting) before applying to court and may even send you back to mediation if they feel if hasn’t been explored enough.

What Happens if Mediation is Declined? If one party refuses to attend without a valid exemption, the Judge may “stay” (pause) proceedings or take their conduct into account when discussing costs.

5. Navigating Complex Court Issues

Sometimes, mediation ends and the Court must step in. Here is how they handle the “tough stuff”:

Types of Orders: The courts can issues legal orders from Prohibited Steps to Specific Issue Orders. See above for more detail.

Criminal Offences: Court will consider a parent’s criminal record—but only if this presents a risk to the child.

Breaking a Court Order: There could be serious consequences to breaking a court order and a parent could be held in “contempt of court,” these include fines, community service, or even imprisonment.

Appealing a Decision: Why “You may not like the result” it isn’t enough to appeal based on this, legal grounds would be required.

Do’s and Don’ts for Successful Mediation

DO	DON’T
For Cases involving Property and finance be prepared with financial documents.	Use the session to “vent” about the past.
Focus on the future “Business of Parenting.”	Bring up “New Partners” as a weapon.
Listen as much as you speak.	Expect the mediator to “punish” your ex
Consider the “Voice of the Child.”	Agree to something just to end the session.

Mediation Myth Buster

It’s a common misconception that mediation is just “lawyer-lite” or a room where people go to argue. In reality, it’s one of the most effective ways to navigate big life transitions without the scorched-earth policy of a courtroom.

Here is a “Myth vs. Reality” breakdown designed to clear the myths and misconceptions about Mediation.

Family Mediation: Myths vs. Reality

Navigating a separation or family dispute is stressful enough without the weight of misinformation. Let’s set the record straight on what mediation actually looks like.

1. The “Legal Advice” Myth

The Myth: “My mediator will tell me if I’m getting a fair deal and give me legal advice.”

The Reality: Mediators are impartial. While they are experts in the process (and often have legal backgrounds), their role is to facilitate conversation, not to advocate for one side. They provide legal information, but you should still consult your own solicitor for specific legal advice.

2. The “Reconciliation” Myth

The Myth: “Mediation is just like couples therapy; they’re going to try to get us back together.”

The Reality: Mediation is future-focused. It isn’t about fixing the relationship; it’s about fixing the arrangements. We focus on practicalities: finances, property, and co-parenting schedules.

3. The “Weakness” Myth

The Myth: “If I agree to mediate, it looks like I’m giving in or have a weak case.”

The Reality: Choosing mediation is a power move. It means you are keeping the decision-making power in your own hands rather than handing it over to a judge who doesn’t know your family. It requires more strength to negotiate than it does to let a court dictate your life.

4. The “In-Person Confrontation” Myth

The Myth: “I have to sit in a room and argue with my ex-partner for hours.”

The Reality: Your safety and comfort are the priority. If being in the same room is too high-conflict, we can use “shuttle mediation,” where you stay in separate rooms (physically or virtually) and the mediator moves between you.

5. The “Binding Contract” Myth

The Myth: “Everything I say in mediation will be used against me in court later.”

The Reality: Mediation is confidential and “without prejudice.” This means you can speak freely and test out different solutions without fear that those proposals will be used as evidence in court if you don’t reach a final agreement.

At a Glance: Mediation vs. Court

Feature	Family Mediation	Family Court
Control	You decide the outcome	A Judge decides the outcome.
Cost	Significantly lower	High legal and court fees.
Timeline	Usually weeks or months.	Often a year or longer.
Tone	Collaborative & Private.	Adversarial & Public record.

Is Mediation Right for You?

The Bottom Line: Mediation isn’t about winning or losing; it’s about moving on with your life with a plan that actually works for your specific family.

Before you spend thousands on a court application, a 45-minute MIAM could save you a year of stress.

Call the Team today on 0330 133 4869

Signposting to other Services

Legal support

Rights of Women

Telephone advice lines providing vital free and confidential legal advice to women.

It is important that you understand the law and your legal rights. Through our free and confidential legal advice we can help you through the law.

FLOWS

Provides a service to help apply for non-molestation orders and occupation orders and a family law advice service.

Citizens Advice :

Are able to provide free legal advice on a range of issues including immigration, housing and benefits. You can Find your local Citizen’s Advice Bureau by clicking here.

Law Centres Network

Provides a directory of local legal advice centres in the UK. Find more information on where to find your nearest Law Centre here.

LawWorks

Provides a searchable directory of legal advice clinics. Find your nearest clinic here.

Resolution

Provides access to specialist, accredited family law solicitors. See their online advice centre here.

Law Society

Represents solicitors in England and Wales. Find a directory of practising solicitors here.

OISC

Office of the Immigration Services Commissioner provides information on issues relating to immigration law advice and choosing an immigration advisor here.

Advocate

Provides free legal advice and representation from barristers.

Family Rights Group

Provide free and confidential advice to parents, family and friends who have social services involved with children. For help and support call their team on 0808 801 0366 or visit their online discussion boards here.

You can search for your nearest legal aid solicitor here.

Domestic Abuse

Women’s Aid

Women’s Aid are a grassroots federation working to provide life-saving services and build a future where domestic violence is not tolerated.

ManKind:

Mankind are an organisation that provide male victims of domestic abuse and domestic violence help and support. They provide services across the UK for victims as well as their friends, family, neighbours. Tel 0808 800 1170

National Domestic Abuse Helpline (England)

National Domestic Abuse Helpline provides a 24 hour helpline offering support and advice on domestic violence for women in England. Call 0808 2000 247.

All Wales Domestic Abuse and Sexual Violence Helpline

Provides a 24 hour helpline offering support and advice on domestic violence for women in Wales. Call 0808 80 10 800.

Solace (London)

Provides a domestic abuse helpline for women in London. Call 0808 802 5565.

Surviving Economic Abuse

Are the only UK charity dedicated to raising awareness of economic abuse and transforming the response to it. SEA provides information resources for women experiencing economic abuse (Tools to Thrive) and the professionals supporting them (Tools to Support).

Mental Health

Mind

Mental Health support for all Call 0300 123 3393.

Andy’s mans club :

Supporting men’s mental health.